I'm melting.....

Right.
Well it’s Friday night, we have just got home from the pub but it’s early 8.30pm.
We are currently residing in the most ridiculous state in the whole of Australia. Today a new record was set, never in the history of Victoria have they had 3 days above 43 degrees, today was the third and at it’s peak temperatures were 45.1. Now I don’t mean to sound ungrateful and I’d hate to come off as a moaner but here it is, I have had 8 hours sleep in the last 3 days have spent two nights on the sofa ( downstairs is cooler ) and have been completely unable to function as a person.
The trams have been late or cancelled, the traffic lights have all failed on Fitzroy street, there is no power all over the state and forest fires are ripping through the green belt areas. Today Melbourne gave free transportation to all as an apology for their restricted services (wouldn’t catch them doing that in Brighton!) 5 of the main train lines are out and the fire brigade are desperately trying to protect 2 townships which are currently on the brink of being totally destroyed.
Total fire ban declared yet again for tomorrow but a slight reprieve, 37 degrees – after the past 3 days that should be a breeze.
The Ting Tings were fantastic, they really did put on an epic show and despite the immense heat and distinct lack of air con it was a brilliant experience.
My office is air conditioned, I love it, in fact I have considered sleeping over. El’s office is not when I speak to her in the day she actually has to unstuck herself from her chair! Why does this heat make everything rubbish?
I wish I could explain the amazingly disgusting tram rides I have to take home from work – imagine if you will 300 people all hot bothered and in a hurry to get home, then imagine if you will the 40 degree heat pulsating through the tram as Mr hairy and Miss Elbows rub against you – yuck. It really is quite stupid and of course the air con doesn’t work ( or on the old school trams doesn’t exist )
Talking of air con El and I decided to put our air con on – turns out we don’t have air con (problem number 1 )
Turns out we have an ‘ air cooler ‘ from the late 1960’s (Problem number 2) – you pour 5 litres of water in a box , plug it into the wall a fan then blows air out and gradually the water evaporates into the air and your bedroom becomes a tropical rainforest...oh yes not only are you now hot you’re also damp. (problem number 3)
I would personally like to thank Mr Air Cooler for all his hard work and careful research in making people feel better when they are hot and bothered. Good job you.

Yes I think I’ve probably hinted at my dissatisfaction, and suggested that maybe, just maybe it is bloody hot here. I can only express my concern for both my mild mannered demeanour and my general good nature because currently I feel the need to break into supermarkets and take residence in a chiller cabinet and start campaigns to make people with their own swimming pools share the wealth. Enough. Enough, I am sure you are all quite fed up with my complaining ( and I really could keep on and on and on ) So I will stop.
I shall lie on the sofa and wish myself somewhere cooler...somewhere a little bit like England! Funny that.

Take care
Lots of love One very sticky Godfrey and one very bothered Baker